Our country is being caught up in a terrifying wave of Xenophobia as we speak. People are being killed for the "unspeakable sin" of being born in a country different to ours. It would sound completely crazy if it wasn't so horrifyingly real. I feel ashamed to call myself South African right now.
What is it that makes one human being hate another human being with such passion? Especially if they don't take the time to know a person. How is it possible for us to look at someone and see only their nationality, colour, religion or sexual orientation? What is that makes us look away from a person in a wheelchair, or someone who is hard of hearing or visually impaired? We treat clinically obese people, homeless people and people who, by society's standards, don't have the "correct" look about them, as if they are anathema to the human race.
Right now, a lot of South Africans are hating foreign nationals simply because they're here, in our country. Hitler hated the Jewish peoples simply because they existed. In apartheid days, the whites hated the blacks simply because they existed. All of these things started with one or two people filled with hate, and they spread that hatred every chance they got. But the hatred didn't just end there. It manifested into crimes so brutal, one wonders how any human being could stand it and how any human being could DO it. What inspires such hatred in people?
Well I have my own opinion about that. But you're wondering what this has to do with Mellow Health. Well, I believe that everything around us, and everything that we are, is connected. I'm not a religious person. In fact, I personally think religion is to blame for a lot of the world's problems and is responsible for a great deal of the heartache in the world. I don't believe in any god. I believe in the power within all of us and the connectivity of that power to the universe as a whole. I am a firm believer that nothing happens by accident. I don't believe in coincidences. I think this is very relevant to what my blog centres around, and that is an awareness, and a consciousness, not only of ourselves, but of the world around us and every living creature in it.
Why else would you want to live consciously if not for the sake of Mother Earth and all the creatures that depend on her to live? Why would we bother to recycle, buy free range and organic and use environmentally friendly products if NOT for the sake of the Earth and all her inhabitants?
The sad thing is that most people DON'T do any of the above and it would never enter their heads to even start. In fact, most people are so focused on their own needs and wants that they can barely focus on the person in front of them, never mind the Earth and everything else on it.
Unfortunately, it's this attitude, this total lack of awareness of each other, that starts having a ripple affect on everything around us. This is what we teach our kids and, the more this lack of awareness spreads, the less people seem to care about anyone but themselves.
An example of this is when GLM and I decided to go for a road cycle around our area and do some exploring. I quickly became very aware of how vulnerable I felt on my little bike, with just a plastic helmet for protection. Motorists actually pay little to NO attention to anything other than themselves, on the road. Cars would come speeding up behind us and then skim past us with barely enough space to miss us, going at over 80kms an hour. Rest assured, we took back roads to try and avoid too many cars AND we hugged the shoulder of the road everywhere that we went and never cycled 2 abreast.
That made no difference to the cars. The general behaviour and reaction to us suggested that we were very much in their way and keeping them from their very important lives and, if they had to run us down to get to their very important lives, they would. Can I just stress that not one of these was a taxi. These were young guys and girls, people with families, (and kids without seatbelts which I will NEVER understand!??!!!) elderly people, people of all races, shapes and sizes.
I've lived in Johannesburg for about 8 years in total, and I know how crazy the roads are. It's every person for themselves. But has it occurred to anyone just how selfish that is? It's almost as if being in a car gives someone the right to strip any humans inside the other cars of ALL that makes them human. They just seem to see them as an annoyance that needs to be moved aside as soon as possible.
It reminds me of the way we treat ants. We stomp on them, pour water on them, spray them with poison, anything to get them out of our space because they are an inconvenience. We don't think about what they might be feeling shortly before death hits them unawares. We are so focused on our own needs and wants. When you are speeding along a residential road, you aren't thinking about what might happen if you hit someone. You are only thinking of where YOU need to be. But, if you hit a cyclist or runner, that will change in an instant. And yet, I bet your first thought will still be how this will affect YOUR life, not, "Is the person I hit ok?"
When did we stop really SEEING other living creatures? When did we lose our sense of humanity? Our sense of empathy? Even when we do meet up with someone else, if they don't match up to our preconceived ideas of what a person should be, we brush them aside without a second thought and we've already moved on. We take that first impression and we use it to find them wanting because they don't fit the mould. They're too skinny, too fat, too ugly, too short, the wrong colour, the wrong nationality, they're gay, lesbian, black, asian, they talk too much, not enough, they don't know how to have fun, they're depressing and boring etc.
Sure, we all have different connections to people and not everyone is going to be a lifelong friend. But EVERYONE has a story, and everyone has a life that is precious to them. Most people are fighting battles in some way or other in their lives and everyone, until they prove otherwise, is deserving of dignity and respect. Even then, there is probably a reason they are the way they are. If you don't like them, move on. But do it without causing any harm.
It's part of the hippocratic oath but I think it should be something we all strive to live by. For most people it's more like, "First, let me get what I want."
I admit it: I used to be young and stupid. I'm sure most of us have been there at some point. You think you're invincible and you do stupid things without thinking of consequences. I'm not proud of it, but I also know that I wouldn't be who I was if I hadn't gone through those lessons. Despite that, I have always had a very strong sense of empathy. I hated to see people hurting. Seeing a person homeless and on the streets often brought tears to my eyes. The fact that I can't help everyone that needs it, hurts. That doesn't mean I haven't hurt people. We all hurt those we love at some point in our lives. We make mistakes that cause harm. That's how life goes. We're human and we're fallible. And the pain you feel over hurting someone is a terrible pain to live with. That is also part of being human, or it should be.
It's because we're all different that we often end up doing things like that, and that difference is a good thing actually. The world would be a dull place if we were all the same. BUT, we can be outspoken and honest without being cruel. We can disagree with someone's opinion without breaking them down in the process. We can dislike how a person lives their lives without disliking the actual person and ALWAYS, we can respect people DESPITE our differences.
It takes a lot of energy to hate a person. I often wonder why anyone would want to put themselves through that. Every day that you live on this Earth is a gift. The idea that someone could waste that gift on hatred is crazy to me. And again I come back to the question: what inspires such hatred?
My personal opinion is that hate is based on fear. We fear what we don't understand, we fear what we can't control and change and we fear losing what we have. If a person filled with fear feels threatened, and they perceive anything to be an imminent threat, they are going to react to protect themselves and their loved ones. Usually, it's not a rational reaction.
Unfortunately, I'm well aware that there are people who actively hate me. It's such a STRONG emotion I often wonder how it's possible to feel it and I wonder what inspires it in them. On my weaker days I wonder what I did to inspire that but deep down I KNOW that it isn't all on me. I can honestly say that I don't hate anyone. There are people I don't particularly like! But I feel mostly indifferent to them. I would still be polite to them if I saw them and I definitely don't actively think of ways to cause them pain. Hating them would mean I'd have to think about them consciously every day and focus on that emotion. What a waste of time and energy.
I can't imagine how draining it would be and how destructive it would be. I think that kind of fear-based hatred would be enough to drive a person insane. Look at Hitler. His fear of the jewish people caused him to hate them with such a passion that he forgot that they were even human. It drove him insane, literally. Only a man who was clinically insane could perform such heinous atrocities. That kind of hatred and fear can be contagious. He managed to spread it throughout an entire country! How scary is that? If you allow yourself to hate, pretty soon, you will affect those around you. You will forget reasoning and sensibility and it will be all about your hatred. Families have disintegrated because of it. Wars have started for the same reason.
About a year and a half ago, we lost one of the greatest humans to ever grace the earth with his presence, Nelson Mandela. If anyone ever earned the right to hate, it was him, but he never did. He taught us one of the greatest lessons a human being can teach others. He showed us the true meaning of empathy and forgiveness.
Most of us will never go through even a bit of what he experienced in his lifetime and yet we find it hard to see the person in the car at the stop street opposite us, as human. We hold on to hurts, imagined or real, as if they are the be-all and end-all in our lives and we allow them to define us and shape our lives. We allow fear to engulf us, we refuse to try and find understanding and our world becomes smaller and smaller and more insulated as we struggle to avoid anything that might change the delicate balance in our lives.
What is the worst that can happen? You will find you actually DON'T think the same as another person and that's really okay. Smile and move on. If a person hurts you, try to understand it first. Don't attack back without knowing the cause. All that will do is leave you even more hurt and full of anger. If they won't answer you, then move on and take it as a lesson learnt. Take it from someone who's learnt that lesson...
Try not to judge someone without knowing their story. If you aren't interested in their story, then just move quietly past them without adding to it. Most people don't need MORE heartache in their lives. They have enough already. They just hide it well because society demands it.
If you are going to send out a ripple in your life, make sure it's one that touches lives positively. If wars can be started from fear and hate, imagine what the power of love and understanding can do?
It starts small, with just one person. Why not let that person be you?
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